squats of death

I went to a zumba class for the first time in months last night, and now my body hates me. I knew the instructor, and I knew she was tough... but day-um! class ended with these crazy squats we had to hold then pulse, my fear of falling in public is the only thing that kept me up because my quad muscles were dead at that point.

the best part of class was the young girl who came in semi-bragging about having taken classes before. she looked around and saw a room full of older ladies, chubby girls and moms and thought she was going to dominate. she had to bail before the half-way mark. all it took was one quebradita to finish her off, she huffed and puffed to the back of the room before finally admitting she was too winded to go on.

dear co-worker,

while I applaud your efforts at trying to be a good dad by bringing your daughter to work, I would like to point out that "babysitter" is not in my job description. the whirling dervish you call your child is currently sniffing white board markers and giving us both a killer high. as enjoyable as this is, I'm going to have to ask you to do something about her. lock her in the car, leash her to your wrist, sell her to gypsies, whatever. oh, and I will not be cleaning up the mess she made outside my office, you can handle that.
xoxo, vanessa

p.s. she just told me I had a big butt, "like her mom".

kid: 1
vanessa: 0

a warming trend

none of us could figure out how to use the new thermostat that had been installed… once the read 64 degrees, someone finally got the courage to start fiddling around with it and began pushing buttons at random.

now, finally, the temp is going up and my hands are beginning to thaw out.

private eyes

I kind of hate that I can't post/write whatever I want without paranoia gnawing away at me immediately after I hit "submit". wha-wha-wha we hate it when our friends become successful.


my best friend had to put her dog to sleep earlier this week, it broke my heart. but the old girl was in too much pain, she had 12 happy years and I hope she's chasing mailmen beyond the pearly doggy door in the sky.


I'm feeling restless, perhaps an early onset of wanderlust is approaching. but with limited funds, and a puppy I hate to leave for more than a few hours... what's a girl to do?

scratch 'n sniff

yogurt made a small improvement, but now I'm looking into holy water and ancient rituals. anything to control oliver's gassy puppy butt.